Singer Kirsty Almeida and Monkey the Cocker Spaniel
I was due at Liberty where Manolo Blahnik and Yasmin Le Bon were hosting Vogue's Fashion Night Out. My friend Richard Sloan was DJing from 7-9pm. I was also expected at another great friend Sarah Owen and her sister Lily Allen's pop-up vintage shop, Lucy in Disguise at Selfridges for cocktails. On top of that a planned smash and grab of Bond Street establishments, popping into Emporio Armani, Prada, Loewe et al. Armani would have been the one to spot fashion faces - Claudia Schiffer, Stella McCartney, Natalia Vodianova, Mr Armani himself and actresses Gwyneth Paltrow, Thandie Newton and Gemma Arterton.
Ok, so here's the story. You really couldn't make this up!! The true stories are always the funniest... My best friend Fee (Mrs Jones) was having a Skype video call with a new artist that she is styling, an Estonian singer called Hannah who wants Fee to give her a "Kylie look." The video director Andy Soup was also there with his Monkey his Cocker Spaniel. As some of you know Fee has an eight month old miniature wire haired Poodle called Betty.
Here's little Betty - can you spot her on the black floor tiles? Next to the red ball. She's wearing a scarf too.
So for anyone who hasn't read my Mrs Jones interview... I'll fill you in briefly on why Betty looks like she does below. In the picture above Betty is au naturel. Bless her, she kept sleeping on the black floor tiles or the black fur rugs in the studio. Fee tied a red and white spotty bow round her neck so she'd be visible, but it kept slipping under her chin. Ladies would come into The Mrs Jones Emporium with their big stilettos on and not see Betty, she's so small. Betty was constantly getting trodden on. Poor little thing.
The fabulous Vicky Drama (aka Victoria Saunders) who has the hair salon The Drama Parlour at Mrs Jones gave Betty this rather fetching punk mohican stripe and orange tipped ears. Everyone can spot her a mile off now! Fee's dad tells everyone she's been bleached by the sun, which I think's hilarious!
So back to the story. Fee's on the Skype chatting about outfits with the singer, meanwhile Betty and Monkey are running around the studio playing as usual. Suddenly, Fee looks round and screams - Monkey has mounted Betty and shall we say... is absolutely going for it! Fee leaps up and pulls them apart. But we think it's all too late. I shall spare you the intimate details!
Andy Soup and Monkey
Next thing I'm on the phone to the nearest vet in Upper Street to find out what we should do about poor Betty who's been violated by the over zealous Cocker Spaniel, Monkey. The vet tells me that there is a chance that Betty could get pregnant. Oh my God!!! Betty could have a Cockerpoo baby!! Or is it a Cocker Poodle? Whatever it is, I think it's supposed to be the other way around ie. the poodle should be the dad due to size etc... Anyway I digress. The vet advises that we bring Betty in for the "doggy morning after pill!" I felt such a fool asking if there was such a thing, so was very relieved to find out there is.
We go off in a black cab to Islington where Betty gets checked out by the vet and has her "morning after" injection (dogs wouldn't keep a pill down). £44.93 later - and she has to go back in 24 hours for her second part of the morning after pill, another £12.93.
As we left the vets the heaven's opened! The rain was coming down in sheets. Bloody English weather. My hair goes flat at the mere mention of drizzle. So I called my friend Daisy who's at Lily in Disguise at Selfridges. I ask her how it is? she tells me it's good. I say "Is there anyone there I know or worth me photographing?" Daisy says "It's totally packed and it's full of young girls standing around drinking Champagne". Lily hadn't even arrived yet and Daisy didn't recognise a single person, apart from the gorgeous Sarah Owen who had already invited us all to the proper opening. That was enough for me. The official opening of Lucy in Disguise is in two weeks and I'm definitely going to that.
I love going to events, especially at Liberty and Selfridges, but Fashion Night Out is such a huge bun fight. I love their smaller parties (it must be my age!), which are always fabulous. I like to be able mooch about leisurely looking at the clothes and taking a few pictures. I like to chat to my friends and take relaxed snaps of them, not fight through crowds and every single paparazzi in London (Richard Young excluded because I love him). I didn't think I was missing out by not going into town. SO many people go along to these things, it all gets a bit bonkers.
I called Richard Sloan, he told me that Liberty is also "Absolutely rammed" but there's no one there that I didn't see on Monday night, apart from Manolo (I know, I should have gone to the Harper's thing last night). By this time it was 8pm anwas all over by 9pm. So I trotted off home to catch the Ultimate Big Brother eviction... yes I am addicted but there's only forty eight hours left and it's all over, forever. Sigh.
Many apologies to all the lovely PR's that invited me but I will of course be at plenty more of your wonderful parties, where there's space for me to take photos and do the events the justice they deserve. They are always so beautifully organised.
I'll leave you with a picture of Betty sitting on my leg. My foot should be clad in a Manolo as a tribute, but I'm a afraid it's a Louboutin.
I'm glad that Betty is alright, she's such a bright, happy little dog. She loves me for some reason! Every time I go into the studio she goes absolutely mental for about five minutes, doing back flips and all sorts!
I hope Vogue Fashion Night Out was a roaring success. I'll try my very best to get there next year! You have to admit, you couldn't make this excuse up. And there's been a few in my time I can tell you!! xxx