"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph!"
"The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington DC. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin"
"The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husbands"
"Next to the circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit"
"Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right"
"The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears"
W. H. Auden
"New Year's Day - Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual"
Seven quotes for a Thursday afternoon is an ongoing weekly series
For Part ten click here